


Dogvengers

by crumplelush



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dogs, Gen, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Has A Heart, kind of, the Avengers are dogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 09:14:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2616395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crumplelush/pseuds/crumplelush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers as dogs. Alternatively, what happens when Tony is bored.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dogvengers

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Пстители](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2638736) by [Schwesterchen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schwesterchen/pseuds/Schwesterchen)



> I actually wrote this months ago but I couldn't for the life of me figure out a way to end it. Then the last two paragraphs came to me this afternoon so I finally get to post it.
> 
> The inspiration came after seeing [this picture](http://origin.funniestmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Funniest_Memes_labrathor_18583.jpeg).

“The Weimaraner Soldier stares balefully at where the metal meets his left shoulder joint. It itches like crazy and he wants to take it off and scratch. He can’t get his hind leg up far enough though, and his mouth can’t reach either. Maybe Captain American Bulldog will help him?

 

“He’s distracted from his musings by the Black Whippet running up to him and pouncing on him. She always wants to fight him, and she usually wins. He doesn’t like fighting very much. Especially when he loses. She’s jumping around in front of him and he figures out that she doesn’t want to fight, just run around and play chase. That he can do. Smiling as much as his dog mouth will allow he lets out an excited bark and chases after her. The Hawkeye Terrier runs up and joins in as well, letting out an excited yelp when the Black Whippet nips at his heels before running off. The Weimaraner Soldier just shakes his head. He doesn’t know what’s up with those two. Truth be told he doesn’t _want_ to know.

 

“Labrathor is ignoring them all, chewing on his favourite toy. He’s the only one who can play with _Mjölnir_. Well Captain American Bulldog can play with it, but generally choses not to. For the rest of them though it’s just not possible. TheWeimaraner Soldier turns away from Labrathor and the squeaky noises coming from _Mjölnir_ , intending to return to the game of chase that’s going on, but instead he literally runs into Iron Mastiff. Who the Weimaraner Soldier is not very fond of.

 

“He’s saved by the timely arrival of his best friend. Captain American Bulldog runs up and literally just barges between the two of them. Iron Mastiff looks between the two of them for a moment and then just turns around and wanders back to the corner where the Hulsky is chewing on a bone. Nick Furry glares at them all from the opposite corner.

 

“The Weimaraner Soldier is very happy to see him go and turns back to his best friend, only to be hit in the face with the shield Frisbee that Captain American Bulldog carries everywhere. The Weimaraner Soldier knows an invitation to play when he sees one, but he’s not in the mood for playing so he carefully tries to mount Captain American Bulldog, who – ”

 

Tony is interrupted by the sound of someone walking down the stairs, despite the fact that he’s explicitly told JARVIS that he wasn’t to be disturbed. When Pepper comes into view he desperately tries to hide the group of dogs he’s assembled from her line of sight. Of course, this completely fails, and the look on her face as she see’s them all is one that Tony has seen far too many times before.

 

“Tony, what are you doing?” she asks in a voice that’s altogether far too calm.

 

“Errr, nothing!”

 

“Why do you have a Doggy Daycare set up in your workshop?”

 

“I can totally explain! I’m being nice! See, Sam told Steve that Bucky would benefit from a service dog to help out with his PTSD and flashbacks and stuff. So I told them I’d deal with it. I’m just road-testing a few to find the perfect one for him!” Tony babbles. Pepper nods like this is perfectly reasonable.

 

“OK, but why does that Golden Retriever have a red towel tied round it’s neck and is chewing on a squeaky _Mjölnir_?” she asks, voice even and low.

 

“Errr...”

 

“And why does that Husky have one of Bruce’s ripped shirts draped over it?”

_“_ You see...”

 

“And why does that Bulldog have a frisbee that looks like Steve’s shield tied round it’s neck?”

 

“Well....”

 

“And why does that Weimaraner have tin foil wrapped around one of it’s legs, with a badly drawn felt tip star on it?”

 

“It’s not that badly drawn!”

 

“Is that Rottweiler wearing an eyepatch?”

 

“It wouldn’t let me put the jacket and tie on it!”

 

Pepper just looks at him. Looks back to the pile of dogs to where the Border Collie is chewing on the tie around his neck. Looks back at Tony.

 

“Is the Collie meant to be Coulson?” she asks and Tony nods. Just then an Afghan Hound trots up to them and nuzzles at Tony’s hand. He pats her on the head and she wanders off. Pepper is looking at him with one eyebrow raised.

 

“Errr, that’s you” he says. He feels odd. If he were anyone other than Tony Stark he’d say that it was embarrassment, but he IS Tony Stark so it can’t be that.

 

“Are you aware that Bucky and Steve’s dogs are mating?” she asks. Her voice is deceptively sweet and light. “We’re going to be held responsible for the puppies. Why is Steve a girl?”

 

“I didn’t know that at the time. And to be fair, it’s the only way that Barnes is ever going to top” he retorts.

 

Pepper just sighs.

 

“I’m going to go upstairs. You are going to take these ridiculous costumes of our closest friends off of these poor dogs and return them to their rightful owners. If James wants a support dog, I’m sure he’ll find one on his own. Or ask you to help if he needs it. Although quite why he’d ever do that is beyond me. He’s recovering from brainwashing, he’s not insane”

 

“But...!”

 

“No buts!” she says and turns up on heels to walk back up the stairs. Tony doesn’t bother to argue. He knows that tone of voice. Last time he’d gone against her wishes when she’d used that voice he’d ended up sleeping on the couch for a week. They lived in a tower with 50 spare bedrooms, and she’d still made him sleep on the couch. People thought the Chitauri and HYDRA were formidable opponents – they hadn’t met Pepper Potts when she had her “I’m Disappointed In You Tony” face on.

 

Sighing to himself he turned back to the dogs and began to remove the poor attempts at costumes as he wondered what to do with them. He’d adopted them from the pound and didn’t really want to return them. He really should have thought this through beforehand.

 

Inspiration strikes as he’s removing ton foil from the Weimaraner’s leg while the Rottweiler licks his ear. He wipes the slobber off with the towel removed from the Labrador and pulls his phone out. “Clint? I heard you bought a farm...”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it, let me know what you think. I'm crumplelush over on tumblr if you want to chat.


End file.
